so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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