I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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