I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
