Semen is not good for contacts.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
