is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
