Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
