Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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