you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
How naked do you want me to be?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
