I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
