I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
