you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize