Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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