True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
