Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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