I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
