Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
