You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
