She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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