genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
