Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
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