There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
