I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
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it's great music for shaving your balls
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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