Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
