dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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