We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
