So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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