Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
