meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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