Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
