Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
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I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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