IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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