im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
