I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
