Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
