when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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