cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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