So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
