so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
