Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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