so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.