i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.