how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.