Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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