I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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