i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize