8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
