If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
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I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
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We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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