then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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