i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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