Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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