I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize