hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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