last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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