let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
