I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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