oh god the rape fog is back!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
