I didn't shave. On purpose
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
