ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
where does the pee come out of this thing
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
