Whod you bang
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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