so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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