Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
