fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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