What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
