So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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