We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
