I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
