There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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