we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
