We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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