sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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