Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have already put on my inside pants.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
